"The Talk," already??

While in the car with Jacob, my 7-year old yesterday, he asked me the question that every parent dreads.

"Mom, what is sex?"

As my mind went back and forth between how in the world I was going to answer his question at the age of 7, WHY he knew to ask that question, trying to pay attention to the traffic around me, and making a mental note not to kill my teenagers for saying, watching, or thinking whatever it was he was exposed to, I decided to keep my answer simple.

"It's when mommies and daddies kiss and hug at night."

"Oh. Cool," he answered.

{Insert huge sigh of relief here}

"Honey, where did you hear about that?" I asked, ready to pounce on the teenager whose name he mentioned.

"The Viagra commercial," he said, nonchalantly.

In an instant, my teenagers became angels again, and I realized I'd dodged a bullet by giving minimal information.

I guess watching the news channels has proven to be a little more educational for him than I had intended!

My son is a what???

I have four kids, all of them very different from each other. My third one, Jacob, who is 7, is by far the most precocious of them all- He does things my first two never even *thought* of doing!

Though always entertaining, Jacob requires a lot of energy. While my other kids were happy to sit and read, play on the computer, or do puzzles at that age, Jacob is much more of an imaginary-play kind of kid...

When he was into Avatar, he WAS the Avatar.

When he was into policemen, he carried handcuffs, a notebook, and a gun (all attached to his belt), and "arrested" people- even strangers, if they let him, for "breaking the law" (and they usually did). If they resisted, he wrote them a ticket.

When he was into wrestling, he BECAME a wrestler- "The Jaker Taker." Even his posture changed during that phase- Stomach in, chest out, arms out away from him body a little bit (to show off his muscles?). The wrestling phase lasted an exhausting year and a half!

Finally, he has entered a new, Star Wars phase. Everything is a light saber. He wants to meet George Lucas. He even found a light saber app on my phone, so he can be a real Jedi (there's an app for that).

After talking about Jacob to a friend recently, I have a whole new take on my little Jedi.

She had to put her family dog down recently, and is researching dog breeds to find a new one.

"Jacob is a worker dog," she told me.

"A what?"

"A worker dog. Some dogs are lap dogs, some are watch dogs, some are hunting dogs. Jacob is a worker dog."

I laughed an rolled my eyes at first, but couldn't stop thinking about that idea. While lap dogs are content to sit quietly next to their owners, and service dogs perform stunts or tasks on command, worker dogs (and kids like Jacob :) ) have to be constantly entertained, either with games or tasks. In return, they are a source of constant entertainment.

And that he is. There is never a dull moment with Jacob around. Never. Whether he is engrossed in his current phase, researching U.S. presidents (his current interest), or helping me in the kitchen, Jacob is always full of energy, and a constant source of "Jacobisms" as I like to call them... You never know what that boy is going to say!

While she said it as an off the cuff comment, I think my friend's "working dog" label is very fitting. And in a way, helps me to understand him a little better. I've got to keep him busy. While he thankfully won't start chasing his tail or chewing the furniture when he's bored, I don't want that boundless energy to go to waste.

I think I'll go set up a task list for my little worker, to keep him occupied during the last month of summer. I'll let you know how that goes :)

C-Section survey...

Recently, I read a blog post by a woman who had a C-section. To say the very least, she was not happy with the procedure. At our Moms Night Out event last night, a few moms were talking about having C-sections. The overall opinion was not good. Sadly, both the blogger and at least one mom said they felt like they "missed out on the experience" of having a natural birth.

I have a different take.

Having had three "natural" births, the fourth needed to be born by C-section due to the baby's position. I was very nervous about this possibility, and when the decision was made to go ahead with the procedure, honestly, I got a little lightheaded.

But, within a few minutes, my nervousness subsided.

Even those who know me likely don't realize I a little bit of a control freak. I'm the quiet kind- I don't make a big deal about things going my way, I just kind of silently plan things ahead of time to make sure they do :)

Right away, I knew I was in for a different birthing experience than my previous ones.

First of all, there was no waiting around. Once the decision was made, everything went surprisingly quickly.

In the operating room, the anesthesiologist stood behind me, telling me what to expect, step by step. Then, seconds before it happened, he'd say, "Remember I said you'd feel xxxx?, well here it comes."

For a control-freak like me, this was the perfect birthing experience. Quick, and no surprises. No waiting for contractions, no stressing about the baby's heart rate, no worrying about if, at any minute, the decision to need a C-section would be made (THAT was honestly the worst part for me).

 Yes, recovery took a few days longer, which made life a little more difficult post-partum, but my husband and older children were able to help with that issue.

As far as feeling like they are "missing out on the experience," I have a different thought. To me, the goal is having a healthy baby. There may be different paths to reach that destination, but, in this case, it is not the journey that matters; it is the final product.

We are done having babies (four is enough for us!), but if I were to have another, I would definitely choose C-section over vaginal birth.

Am I the only crazy one who prefers the C-section method? 

How busy is *TOO* busy?

Last summer, my teenage son complained that he was bored. While we had plans for several trips and activities, some got cancelled or postponed, leaving him free to swim, play on the computer, and hang out with his family and friends.

In contrast, everything that I planned this summer, and then some, came to fruition for him. Volunteering at Cub Scout camp, a one-week Boy Scout camp, a US History tour in the northeast, and a trip to visit grandma and grandpa in Alabama. High school summer band starts next week, which will basically fill the rest of his free time until school starts.

So, I laughed out loud the other night when he said, "Mom, I've been TOO busy this summer!"

"But, you've had at least a week in-between activities," I told him.

"My friends were gone most of the time I was here."

I realized he was right- Indeed, his friends' vacations and his activities did seem to overlap, and he's barely done anything with them all summer.

Do I feel bad about this? A little. 

Would I have changed anything? Not at all. (Don't feel to badly for him; he has been able to keep up with everyone on Facebook and Skype.)

I think that as kids get older, it's important to keep them busy. Not *so* busy that they don't have a second to breathe (or Skype with his friends, in our case), but busy enough that they don't have time to get into trouble.

Kids with free time are the ones that find the time to do dumb things. Keep kids busy with sports, scouts, hobbies, volunteering, and other extracurricular activities, and they are forced to focus more on school work during the academic year, with little time to do things they are not supposed to be doing.

So, while I wish my son's summer activities coincided a little better with his friends' so he could have had time with them, I am so grateful for the experiences he had this summer, and the memories he made.

Maybe next summer, I'll try to plan something that he and his friends can do together. If not, he'll just have to settle for another summer of memories, that he can share with his friends on Facebook.

Ugandan Orphans Choir

This week, I had the opportunity to get to know (and fall in love with) the Ugandan Orphans Choir. These 10 kids, ages 11-14, are spending 11 months of this year touring the US, hoping that people will take up their cause and sponsor a child.

For $38 a month, children in underprivileged countries can receive an education. The group's tour manager, Shay Flaherty, said it best.

"Education provides an opportunity to dream, and an opportunity to pursue their dreams," she said. "They will educate their children, and start the process all over again. By sponsoring a child, you have the opportunity to help break the cycle of poverty."

As a mom, this hit home for me... These precious children, made orphans by no choice of their own, are using their talents to help others like themselves get out of the cycle of poverty they are in.

Their sweet faces are almost always smiling, they are respectful to adults, and they know they are making a difference.

Perhaps the most exciting part for me, aside from watching them perform, was when I asked them all what they wanted to be when they grow up. I'm not sure what I expected them to say, but the answers they gave surprised me.

Three of them plan to be doctors. The others plan to be a nurse, a bank manager, a police woman, an airplane pilot and a teacher. One boy wants to be an electrical engineer and a farmer. And 14-year-old Isaac wants to be an actor. "Like Tom Cruise," he said, "I want to be famous in the whole world."

I told Isaac he was well on his way to that goal.

In some ways, the kids were just regular kids- they love pizza and hamburgers (foods not available to them in Uganda), and they pretend to be asleep at "lights out," then all wake up and start talking after the final check of the night.

And yet, they have a wisdom beyond their years. I think Glenda Halbert, co-pastor of St. Paul Presbyterian Church put her finger on exactly why...

"They're so self-sufficient," she said. "It occurred to me, they don't have anyone to mother them, or to go home to. They don't get that parental touch, that reassures them they are in a safe place."

As a mom, that realization made me sad. That there are hundreds, likely thousands of children in this world who don't have a parent to tell them "I love you" when they tuck them into bed, or "Great job" when they do well in school, just breaks my heart.

I have always said I would like to make a difference in this world. Sponsoring a child might be just the way to do it. 

A Dark Knight

The news of the day today was every parent's worst nightmare.

While watching the midnight premier of the Batman movie, "The Dark Knight Rises,"in Aurora, Colorado, a masked gunman opened fire in the theater.

In the end, 12 people we killed, and 59 injured.

Here's my "mom-take" on this very sad situation...

While watching the news at about 5:00 this morning, the reporter remarked that it was possible that parents of kids who went to watch the movie might still be sleeping, and not even realize yet that there may be something wrong.

This comment hit home for me. While my two oldest children, aged 14 & 15, are visiting their grandparents, I know very well that if they were home, there is a good possibility that they could have gone to that premier with friends.

I also know that there is a good possibility that I would have fallen asleep on the couch waiting for them to be home.

In essence, had I been a parent in Aurora, Colorado, I could have been one of those parents who didn't know there was something wrong, when so many were fighting for their lives. 

While this thought scares me to death, the logical side of my brain says that I shouldn't change a thing.

I need to teach my kids that they can't be scared to live their lives because of something that happens hundreds of  miles away.

Did we talk about it? Of course. But will we change our lifestyle as a result? Probably not.

Stories like this just remind me once again to always tell my kids I love them, give them a hug at least once a day, and to cherish every moment we share.

"Moms Night Out" is an important Play Date for Moms

Here is this month's Moms the Word column. We work so hard to make sure our children have a social life. Don't forget about yourselves, ladies :)