I really got into this without thinking it through, and once it got closer I found myself becoming really nervous at the commitment I had given with no directing experience other than the snippets of Annie I'd force my little brother and sisters to perform for family when I was a child. Questions started littering my mind such as:
Am I even good with children?
What if they don't like me?
What if I'm not as good as the previous director?
I don't even know everything about theatre; how am I going to teach them?
But the biggest one was; What if I fail and disappoint everyone? First, let me fill you in on this children's program... it's more of a classroom setting than just learning a play. They have to audition and learn stage directions- pretty much everything that goes into putting a play on stage and the class ends by the children actually performing their play on stage with a live audience. The decision to produce The Cat In The Hat was made, and there I was on the first day of class speaking to all the parents and making sure everyone knew everything they needed to know regarding rehearsals and attire etc.
Then the parents left, and there I was with 15 kids staring at me waiting for something amazing to happen =) Well, let me tell you... something amazing did happen! I became an instructor, lol, with the help of some of my treasured friends I learned how to direct and teach and I started falling in love with these kids. I'd watch them spend hours rehearsing scenes that took mere minutes to perform and I was proud... The heart and willingness to please was amazing and we did many group hugs.
I didn't realize you become their protector as well... I had children coming to me for hugs telling me that they wouldn't be in class the next day because a grandparent had passed away and wiping tears away. I bandaged boo boos and gave words of encouragement all while becoming more attached and believing in them. On one of our last dress rehearsals one of my smallest kids ( I had a class of 8-18 year olds) didn't get changed in time and collapsed in a puddle of tears losing all faith in herself and I sat back stage with her trying to convince her she was wonderful and that she could do it!
And guess what? SHE DID!
Before I knew it, opening day was here and I could barely breath as I gathered my kids in a circle to pray before they got in places back stage to show their friends and family what they'd been working on for 3 months. We said Amen and off they went... without me... and I realized I was powerless at that point. I had to sit in my chair and watch them and hope I had done a good enough job that they could overcome anything that might happen.
With my husband on my left and my parents on my right I watched as something incredible happened. The lights came up and it was theatre magic.... They remembered to smile and remembered every little note I had ever given them... they even hammed it up! At one point one of the things got her kite string stuck on one of the cake candles and drug it around stage and everyone played it up! Nobody fell and everyone loved it. At curtain call I was the first one on my feet in tears wanting EVERYONE to stand up for these wonderful little people that had just performed with their whole hearts... and guess what? Everyone stood. Everyone clapped and screamed and cheered... and I cried. I couldn't count the number of hugs and thank you's I got from my kids... funny... I'm calling them my kids now. I stood there in the lobby watching all of them smile and take pictures with everyone and I was just happy. I had done it!
Now for what I learned.... You have to have faith... I can't help but link it to my relationship with God, which might sound funny. He loves you and trusts you to do well but he doesn't have puppet strings attached to your arms making you do everything correct and perfect. Things are going to happen but he trusts that you'll do your best to get through it and he smiles. I didn't even know if I would get along with these children and now I am already mourning the fact that tomorrow is closing night of our show and then they aren't my kids anymore...
I'm sure my relationship with my own daughter will be a lot like this as well.... One day I am going to have to just let go and watch her act on her stage of life, and trust that I did a good enough job that she will thrive. What a wonderful and unexpected experience this has been.
ONE other thing... I did realize The Cat In The Hat has an underlying moral, which happens to tie into this blog nicely... In the Cat In The Hat the Mother is gone and has left her children trusting that they'll be good. The Cat is the symbol of mischief and trouble and all things children secretly want to do when their mothers are out of the house. The fish symbolizes the spirit of their mother... always in the back of their minds telling them what they should and shouldn't be doing. I thought it was pretty neat!
Oh.. I didn't mention that we sold out our opening show =)
I'm just so proud. What an experience! God is Good!
It is fun to have fun but you have to know how.
