I remember, as a young Girl Scout, singing a song about friends:
"Make new friends, but keep the old, 
One is silver and the other's gold."
(Those of you who were Girl Scouts probably can't get that tune out of your head now- you're welcome :) )

I have realized that through different  phases of our lives, that verse takes on different meanings, all with the same purpose.

As a little girl, it was just a little song to sing, with a catchy tune (is it still in your head??), but it was actually teaching a lifelong lesson.

Watching my teenage daughter deal with her (comparatively minor) friendship dramas, I remember the song again. A junior in high school, she has friends that she has known since elementary school. Occasionally, they all have disagreements:

"I wish she wouldn't date that guy, I don't like him."
"She can be so immature sometimes!"
"Why does she have to act like that when she's around (another friend)? She doesn't act that way when we're alone!"

While I know that these are all typical things said by all teenagers (and some adults) at one time or another, I have taught her to be especially protective of the friends she's had for so long. They are the ones who really "know" my daughter, and she is the one that really "knows" them.

And they love each other, even with their teenage idiosyncrasies.They would do whatever they can to help each other when they need it, without a second thought.

I talked to a "gold" friend earlier today, and caught up with all that is going on in her world. After more than an hour on the phone, I know what's happening with work, her family, and her new exercise routine. But during that conversation, we reminisced about when we lived closer, saw each other every day, and laughed about "old times."

Tonight, I went to our monthly SanAngeloMoms' "Moms Night Out."

I sat talking to two women new to our group, my new "silver" friends, then stopped talking for a  few minutes to let them talk to each other about some things they had in common. I looked to the other side of the table, and listened as five other moms, who have known each other about a year (and met through SanAngeloMoms) chatted and laughed with each other.

I just love watching the relationships moms form with other moms- we all have an instant bond- the bond of motherhood- and yet have our own unique stories to tell while we strengthen those bonds.

While, yes, I have my "gold" friends, whom I share a history with, and can pick up a conversation with at any time, it is my "silver" friends that I have to make new memories with.

I wonder which one(s) of the moms at the table with me tonight I will be talking with ten years from now, reminiscing about when our children were young?

I also wonder, at which point do friends change from "silver" to "gold?" How long is a new friend a "new" friend? The women to my right were laughing and reminiscing in a way not too different from the way my friend and I were on the phone earlier today.

The women to my left seemed to have a lot in common, and could easily become good friends.

So here is what I have decided... It is always important to make new, "silver" friends, because you never know which of those friends will eventually become "gold."

If you're lucky, you'll have two or three truly gold friends that are lifelong friends (I call them platinum).

But, it is also a blessing to have "newer gold" friends in your circle as well- people whom you've shared a few memories with, yet are living life with you now.

For me, that is the purpose of SanAngeloMoms- to help us increase the size of our "circle." And, it doesn't matter whether the friendship circle is silver or gold- Just like jewelry, all girls need a little bit of both! 

There's 104 Days of Summer Vacation...

...and just as "school comes around just to end it," Disney's Phineas and Ferb are coming to San Angelo!! 

The "Best Live Tour Ever" will be at the Coliseum on September 9 for two shows, at 2:30 and 5:30 p.m.

And, as a follower of the SanAngeloMoms Blog, YOU have a chance to win tickets! 

I have 12 tickets (three 4-packs) to give away. I love to do fun contests, but since this is the first one we've had in a while, I'm going to make it quick and easy... 

All you have to do is "like" SanAngeloMoms on Facebook, and be a follower of this blog!

If you'd like a chance to win tickets, leave your name and the number of tickets you need in the comments below. I'll draw three names names to pick the winners... 

If there are tickets left over, I'll draw another name to give the up to four more tickets to another person ( If there still happens to be tickets left after the 4th name is drawn, I'll draw one more name).

For bonus points, and to thank you for reading this far, ;) , I'll enter your name one more time for every comment on this blog between today, August 21 and Sunday, September 2 at 5:00

 I'll hold the drawing on Monday, September 3, so those who don't win have time to buy tickets.

For more information about the show, visit:

http://disney.go.com/disneylive/phineas-and-ferb-on-tour/

Have fun, and good luck! 

Major milestone!

When our children are little, it seems like our lives are filled with milestones- first word, first tooth, first step, first day of preschool.

Then they start kindergarten, and the milestones, while they still happen, somehow seem less monumental. Aside from learning to read and assorted sports goals made, the major milestones were pretty much at a standstill throughout elementary school.

Then they start middle school, and the milestones start up again, for just a little while- first time babysitting, puberty, first dance, various academic awards.

Today, my oldest reached what I think is her most major milestone since her first day of kindergarten~ She got her driver's license! Not her permit, which freaked me out just a little last year, her real, honest-to-goodness Texas driver's license.

Let me tell you, I don't think I have ever felt quite the same feeling as I did when watching my daughter drive away- without another adult in the car- for the first time today.

While no tears were shed, I couldn't get over how just *weird* it was to see my oldest child driving off to band practice- without me having to be by her side. (Sshhh- don't tell her I took a picture- She'd think that was "lame.")

While this will probably be her most significant milestone until she graduates from high school, there are still a couple coming up in our house in the near future- My son turns 15 in December, which means another learning permit, and hopefully sooner than that, my two-year-old will be potty trained!

Luckily for me, more milestones mean more blog material :) 

Procrastinators Unite!

I haven't bought one single school supply yet.  Nary a pencil.  In fact, I just printed the list out today.

School clothes?  Surely you jest.

What's the hold up?  I hate doing it.  I hate it.  I loathe shopping.  I guess I'm not your typical female.


Maybe I can shop online this year.  Wouldn't that be great?  How many of you have schools where the PTO/PTA has a fundraiser that does the shopping for you?  I wish ours did.  Of course I'd avoid the committee like the plague.  But I'd ante up for sure.

On top of all that, I'm not ready for school to start yet.  I feel like the summer just started.  We've been so busy.  I don't want the fun to end.  In the past, I've been itching for school to begin again.  I changed up our game plan this summer and have managed to keep the kids busy with various things.  And it has made the time FLY by.

Procrastinators - - unite with me.  Let's dig our heels in the ground a little longer.  Can we get that groundhog and use him as a gauge?  Six more weeks of summer?  Yes please.

Think it will work?

The Things Moms Say

I saw this on my friend's Facebook page, and couldn't resist blogging about it (with her permission, of course)...

Danielle Barber: 
 When you are a mom you get used to saying things you would NEVER say without kids.

"Get in the tub and stop touching stuff. It's poop not finger paint!"

"Don't touch the dog there. That's his no no spot."

"Please don't touch the plug ins. Yes, they can make you 'die very badly'."

"Will you please eat your food? Gooodness, just eat it- the chicken can't feel a thing!"

"No, the animal on the side of the road is not dead. It just ate a lot and now it's taking a nap. Yes, I understand it is missing half of its body...ok yes it is dead and those birds are eating it. It's called nature!"

Personally, I have thought about this many, many times over the 16 years I have been a mom...

Here are some of the things I have said, then couldn't believe that *I* said them:

"In our house, we do not climb in through the windows!"

"Do NOT hit your brother over the head with a Heffalump!" 

"You can't have an Oreo before breakfast... Ok, fine, just go get a glass of milk to go with it." 

"No, you can't have a Facebook account yet, you're 7!! ...Yes, I know you probably have more friends than I do... That is NOT the point!"

(The first time Jacob saw me changing Ally's diaper, and realized she was "missing" a part):
"She's not supposed to have one- That's the way God made her. ...NO, he didn't forget it, girls don't need one... No, that is NOT why boys are taller than girls!" 

What are some things that you have said, that you KNOW you would not have said before you were a mom? Please share in comments...

Join our blog!

Welcome!

We have big plans for our SanAngeloMoms blog. You can make sure you don't miss a single laugh,  story, contest, or event by scrolling down and clicking the "Join This Site" button on the right.

It takes just a couple of minutes to set up, if you don't already have a Google account. If you already have one, it takes just a few seconds.

This blog is still fairly new, so it won't take long for you to read all the entries I've posted so far.  If you agree with something, or disagree, please feel free to leave a comment. (Please be nice.)

We plan to have guest bloggers in the future as well. If you have any suggestions, please send them to me, at amimizell@suddenlink.net

Make sure you check back with us so you don't miss a thing!

What would you do?

While at a local event recently, I watched a young mom getting more and more frustrated with her little (4-5 year old) girl.

The little girl was acting a little tired, but nothing that I would say was terrible (i.e., not throwing a fit on the floor; just a little whiny).

After several minutes, the mom told the girl, "You'd better stop it, before I beat the sh** out of you."

She instantly stopped whining, and just stood there quietly for the rest of the time I was near them (just a few more minutes).

Now, I have never seen this family before or since, do not know their situation, don't know what how the child was behaving earlier or what else is going on in the mother's life. But, what I do know, is that I cannot get those 12 words, or that little girl, out of my mind.

Like everyone else there, I heard it, stopped for a second, then looked away, embarrassed for the mother, feeling sad for the little girl. And I haven't stopped feeling badly about it since. 

I don't know what I *should* have done... It's not like me to "make a scene," and tell any parent that I don't agree with the way they are talking to their child. But at the same time, I think that this has become a problem with our society- that people (like me) have a passion about things going on around them, but know that it is not "politically correct" to say anything negative about someone's parenting skills. I do know I don't think any child deserves to be spoken to that way.

If it had been one of my friends, I would have offered to take the child for a few hours. But like I said, I'd never even seen them before.

So, what do you think I should have done? What would you have done? Anything? Am I overreacting?

Please leave a comment with your thoughts!

Mom's the Word- August

Our monthly "Mom's the Word" column, featured in the San Angelo Standard-Times. Every third month, Becky Bray, a guest writer, and I take turns writing about various mom or kid-related issues. Here is this month's column:

Enjoy every moment the kids have at home

A question of discipline

My teenage daughter got mad at me today, for not disciplining my 7-year old the same way she was disciplined at that age.

The fact is, she's right.

But, there are no apologies from this mom- I figured out with my third child (the 7-year-old) that not all children can be disciplined the same.

My first two, now teenagers, were fairly "typical" children. Time-outs, saying *NO* in my "mommy voice," and occasionally taking away privileges typically stopped them in their tracks.

Jacob, however, is another story. My free-spirited child, he does things my older children never even thought to do. As a toddler, he called 911. Twice. Before that, I didn't know that the 911 operator calls back, right around the same time the police officer rings the doorbell (THAT makes for an interesting morning). And, who knew that the third time a false 911 call is made results in a fine? (We never made it to # 3, but the police officer told me that when he came to my door the second time in 3 months.)

Jacob also is the only child I've had to call Poison Control about. When he was three, he wanted to see if the strawberry shampoo tasted like strawberry. (Evidently, it didn't, but I didn't know how much it took for him to figure that out. But his breath smelled really sweet.)

I could go on and on, but I want to save some for future blog posts, so let's just suffice it to say that Jacob keeps me on my toes.

So today, when Jacob was pretending he was a Star Wars Jedi in the living room (light saber, sound effects, and all), for the umpteenth time, I made him go clean the bathroom.

Does that sound like an appropriate punishment to you?

It doesn't to me, either. But, here's my thinking... I have told him *countless* times not to play Jedi in the living room. I'm afraid that the light saber will hit my TV, my laptop, or even worse, my 2-year old.

Sending him to his room was an option, but all his "stuff" is in there. While my older kids would go in their room and cry or sulk when punished, Jacob goes in and plays with his toys.

Time-outs don't typically work for Jacob. He sits wherever I tell him, for as long as I tell him to, but his imagination takes over, and before I know it, he's role playing in whatever "phase" he is in (i.e., talking to himself)-we've gone through a Doodlebops phase, a police officer phase, an Avatar phase, a wrestling phase, and the current Star Wars phase. 

Taking things away don't work, either, for the same reason. You can't take their imagination away!

So, in anger, I told him to go clean the bathroom.

My daughter was NOT happy. That's her job, and quite the perfectionist, she knew that he would not do it the way she wanted him to, and she'd end up having to clean it again anyway.

I refused to apologize to my teenager for the punishment I chose, and I didn't feel the need to explain it to her, so she got mad at me.

"Can't you send him to his room, like every other normal kid?" she asked.

I realized after that, that Jacob is not "every normal kid." But more than that, all of my kids have different personalities, and different "normals." Therefore, different punishments work for all of them.

For example, if I took my 14-year-old son's computer away, it would be the end of his world. On the other hand, taking the computer away from my 15-year old daughter would barely phase her.

Threatening to take away her phone would be a different story. I might as well threaten to cut off her right hand. My son would barely care about being grounded from his phone.

For Jacob, the very worst thing I can do to him is make him leave the room that the rest of the family is in. He is by far the most social of my children, and absolutely hates to be alone.

And, now that he's past the age of wanting to taste shampoo, I figure if I'm going to send him out of the room, I'm going to put it to good use.

Besides, my daughter will be going to college in the next couple of years, and it's time to start grooming another child to clean the bathrooms. 

Rules for the Facebook Playground

We teach our children not to judge others, to play nice, and "if you can't find anything nice to say, then don't say anything at all."

So why then, do so many so-called grown-ups on Facebook act like a bully on a playground?

When I read what some of my friends write, or "like," I am appalled. I am thankful they are not as outspoken in person. But even more, I am thankful that an outlet like Facebook exists, so I know their true thoughts. Just as people's acts are judged in real life, things people say, or agree with, also makes me realize who I can, and cannot, trust.

I would never embarrass any of my friends friends by including specific posts, but here are few suggestions that, in my opinion, would make Facebook a nicer playground to play on:

1) While I love a good political discussion, why does everything political in nature have to become mean? Can't we have educated, bi-partisan discussions without calling the other side names?

2) Personal events that happen to your children should be kept personal. Keep the cute quotes, accomplishments, and pictures coming- but leave out boyfriends, girlfriends, break-ups, menstrual cycles, and anything else you wouldn't talk about in a crowd of people. If your kids are old enough to have these issues, they are probably old enough to have a Facebook page. And how embarrassing for Mom to be discussing these on the Internet for all to see!

3) Vague posts that sound serious to those who don't know the story behind them are like telling secrets to some friends, while leaving the others to worry about you. "I think I'm gonna end it all" is scary to read for the person who doesn't know you are simply considering giving up sugar.

4) Asking for prayers for a specific person or family is another way of spreading gossip. If a family has already "gone public" with their issue, then prayer requests are just fine. But if you are the first to hear about something, think about whether that person/family wants their news all over Facebook at this point. (I have been a victim of well-intended prayer requests a couple of times; and both times, while I appreciated the well wishes, I wished that not everyone knew before I was ready to share.)

5) Basically, if it's not something you're willing to stand on the street corner and yell for all to hear, think twice (or three times) before posting it on Facebook. If you have a problem with someone, send them a private message. Or better yet, invite them over for coffee :)