We teach our children not to judge others, to play nice, and "if you can't find anything nice to say, then don't say anything at all."
So why then, do so many so-called grown-ups on Facebook act like a bully on a playground?
When I read what some of my friends write, or "like," I am appalled. I am thankful they are not as outspoken in person. But even more, I am thankful that an outlet like Facebook exists, so I know their true thoughts. Just as people's acts are judged in real life, things people say, or agree with, also makes me realize who I can, and cannot, trust.
I would never embarrass any of my friends friends by including specific posts, but here are few suggestions that, in my opinion, would make Facebook a nicer playground to play on:
1) While I love a good political discussion, why does everything political in nature have to become mean? Can't we have educated, bi-partisan discussions without calling the other side names?
2) Personal events that happen to your children should be kept personal. Keep the cute quotes, accomplishments, and pictures coming- but leave out boyfriends, girlfriends, break-ups, menstrual cycles, and anything else you wouldn't talk about in a crowd of people. If your kids are old enough to have these issues, they are probably old enough to have a Facebook page. And how embarrassing for Mom to be discussing these on the Internet for all to see!
3) Vague posts that sound serious to those who don't know the story behind them are like telling secrets to some friends, while leaving the others to worry about you. "I think I'm gonna end it all" is scary to read for the person who doesn't know you are simply considering giving up sugar.
4) Asking for prayers for a specific person or family is another way of spreading gossip. If a family has already "gone public" with their issue, then prayer requests are just fine. But if you are the first to hear about something, think about whether that person/family wants their news all over Facebook at this point. (I have been a victim of well-intended prayer requests a couple of times; and both times, while I appreciated the well wishes, I wished that not everyone knew before I was ready to share.)
5) Basically, if it's not something you're willing to stand on the street corner and yell for all to hear, think twice (or three times) before posting it on Facebook. If you have a problem with someone, send them a private message. Or better yet, invite them over for coffee :)
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He, he, we were just discussing this. I am so glad that my FB friends are only people I actually know, otherwise it does get to be too much. I have a bunch of kids & older family members on my site & now that they show your "likes" you have to be really careful, even if you find something slightly inappropriate funny.
ReplyDeleteI have recently had this issue more than once. Especially needing prayer requests & not being able to share who. Last week my Dad had a terrible problem that landed him in the hospital & my family has a deal that we don't post what is going on until told it's ok. In this situation my parents didn't want a lot of calls until they knew everything that was going on. So instead I asked for prayers for someone dear to me, then the next day they asked me to make it public to keep family/friends posted. (then he sent me a funny pic to post). This is not my first go around with the whole prayer thing & have learned names are not always necessary, people will still send prayers out to "your loved one". I don't post anything about my children, friends or family until I have their permission either. I always read & often show it to them first. I keep this as a rule & think many others should too. There are also times I have had to say not to post something.
I agree, I don't think menstrual cycles (ever), b/f, g/f issues should be posted if it is embarrassing. And political posts I tend not to even bother with unless it's to say stop being mean. I wish the ads were the same.
I also know that FB is a great place to help others & get help. Being an advocate for autism, Asperger's & bullying prevention, things can be public if done the right way. (again with permission from any person you are referring to).
Your last statement is perfect, if you wouldn't scream it on a street corner for all to hear, then don't say it. For me, my biggest rule is : PERMISSION when it comes to other's business, Rule #2, if it will help others & doesn't hurt anybody then no problem.
I know I have also deleted a bunch of friends lately because their posts just got way too ugly. Love this one. I think you are pointing out some very important reminders. I think many of us have all made FB mistakes at some point or another, but now, with everything public, we really do need to pay closer attention.
Amen!
ReplyDeleteYep! When people post things they would never say in public it drives me nuts. I think they forget that the internet is not as anonymous as it once was. Plus, delete is not an option once something has hit the web.
ReplyDeleteI "LOL'ed" at the menstrual cycles because that's so true, I have a few friends that always post about them...I'm like really?? Do all of us NEED to know that?? I'm sure there's an e-card for that... ;)
ReplyDelete