While at a local event recently, I watched a young mom getting more and more frustrated with her little (4-5 year old) girl.
The little girl was acting a little tired, but nothing that I would say was terrible (i.e., not throwing a fit on the floor; just a little whiny).
After several minutes, the mom told the girl, "You'd better stop it, before I beat the sh** out of you."
She instantly stopped whining, and just stood there quietly for the rest of the time I was near them (just a few more minutes).
Now, I have never seen this family before or since, do not know their situation, don't know what how the child was behaving earlier or what else is going on in the mother's life. But, what I do know, is that I cannot get those 12 words, or that little girl, out of my mind.
Like everyone else there, I heard it, stopped for a second, then looked away, embarrassed for the mother, feeling sad for the little girl. And I haven't stopped feeling badly about it since.
I don't know what I *should* have done... It's not like me to "make a scene," and tell any parent that I don't agree with the way they are talking to their child. But at the same time, I think that this has become a problem with our society- that people (like me) have a passion about things going on around them, but know that it is not "politically correct" to say anything negative about someone's parenting skills. I do know I don't think any child deserves to be spoken to that way.
If it had been one of my friends, I would have offered to take the child for a few hours. But like I said, I'd never even seen them before.
So, what do you think I should have done? What would you have done? Anything? Am I overreacting?
Please leave a comment with your thoughts!
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To be honest, I would have probably done the same thing you did. I know that is sad, but in my mind I would hope to God that she actually never did that to her child. I know that I would have wanted to say something, but I am not the type of person to be rude to other people. I would probably be in the same boat as you, wishing I would have had the guts to say something, but didn't. I don't think you did anything wrong thought. Now if you had seen her being beaten, that would have been a different story.
ReplyDeleteIf it's the event I am thinking of, then I saw some of that too. I also saw a lot of parent's not doing anything about their kids acting up & some were acting terrible. First off, embarrassing your kid in public is horrible, it tears up their self-esteem & breaks the child down. She should have taken the child aside & whispered to them that if they didn't behave, they would be punished later. Beating a child is also obviously awful & I'm not sure what I would have done except maybe looked at that parent with an appalled look to let them know I heard. I know I would not have said anything to the parent either, & truthfully we should all start again, but it's so hard & like you said politically incorrect. I know if given the chance I would have talked to the child, not about the situation, but given them a compliment, boosted their self-esteem a little. I know that sometimes parent's just feel desperate & say things they don't really mean too, so I hate to pass judgment. Given that the child immediately got scared though seems to be a dead giveaway. I also think it's horrible that they cussed at the poor baby that way & in public. We all know it's hard to parent, but not punishing is as bad as punishing, there has to be a medium. I try to take my kids aside, talk to them first, if they still act up, then take the phones away, if it continues, then it moves to the next level, which tends to be grounded from everything, or pulling weeds is always a classic.
ReplyDeleteAmi this is so hard but I just went through something like this. It was so hard for me to say anything because I don't ever feel like its my place to tell anyone how to be a parent. Yes I had concerns and when asked I spoke up. But in the end speaking the truth got me no where and lost a "friend" so now idk if I would do it again or be the honest person I am...
ReplyDelete~Charlene