I saw this on my friend's Facebook page, and couldn't resist blogging about it (with her permission, of course)...
Danielle Barber:
When you are a mom you get used to saying things you would NEVER say without kids.
"Get in the tub and stop touching stuff. It's poop not finger paint!"
"Don't touch the dog there. That's his no no spot."
"Please don't touch the plug ins. Yes, they can make you 'die very badly'."
"Will you please eat your food? Gooodness, just eat it- the chicken can't feel a thing!"
"No, the animal on the side of the road is not dead. It just ate a lot
and now it's taking a nap. Yes, I understand it is missing half of its
body...ok yes it is dead and those birds are eating it. It's called
nature!"
Personally, I have thought about this many, many times over the 16 years I have been a mom...
Here are some of the things I have said, then couldn't believe that *I* said them:
"In our house, we do not climb in through the windows!"
"Do NOT hit your brother over the head with a Heffalump!"
"You can't have an Oreo before breakfast... Ok, fine, just go get a glass of milk to go with it."
"No, you can't have a Facebook account yet, you're 7!! ...Yes, I know you probably have more friends than I do... That is NOT the point!"
(The first time Jacob saw me changing Ally's diaper, and realized she was "missing" a part):
"She's not supposed to have one- That's the way God made her. ...NO, he didn't forget it, girls don't need one... No, that is NOT why boys are taller than girls!"
What are some things that you have said, that you KNOW you would not have said before you were a mom? Please share in comments...
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Please get your spurs off of the sofa.. really?? those words had to come out of my mouth??
ReplyDeleteI once said, "Do not pee on your brother."
ReplyDeleteHA! In reference to the female anatomy, my 7-year-old step-son calls them "front butts". I've had to side step and explain to many people (some strangers) just exactly what he meant by "front butt"!
ReplyDeleteI like how your son thought that we were shorter because of our missing part!
ReplyDeleteSomethings that I have said:
Do not lick that drain (in a target bathroom)
No, I'm not going to die (while on my period)
Get those panties off your head
No you can't have coffee in your sippy